Signs that you may be a drunk:


You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

Every woman you see has an exact twin.

You fall off the floor.

The glass keeps missing your mouth.

George W. Bush starts to make sense.

The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in.

You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store.

"Beertender! Get me another Bar!"