Two elderly ladies were outside their nursing home,
having a smoke, when it started to rain.

One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the
end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

The other lady asked, "What's that?"

"A condom," the lady responded. "This way my
cigarette doesn't get wet."

"Where did you get it?" the other lady asked.

"You can get them at any drugstore."

The next day, the other lady hobbled herself down
to the local drugstore and announced to the pharmacist that she
wants a box of condoms.

The guy looked at her kind of strangely (she is,
after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she
prefers.

"It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel."

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When Bucks Fizz’s tour bus crashed they all survived. When Metallica's bus crashed Cliff Burton died. Why?