For your feedback....

Here are a few songs I've written recently.
Dunno, fairly simple stuff, but hey.
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Take from me this science,
this learning, and the illusion of reason.
Take from me the pretentious existence,
And this human longing to conquer the seasons.

Take from me this faith,
all answers without questions, all heavenly strife,
I spend too much time challenging what's above,
and forget about the ground to which I owe my life.

For when my time is up,
And my words obscure to black,
My valediction will celebrate return,
I've taken so much, I will give myself back.

Give of me this love,
No subject, no symbol, just the conciliation of light,
I've wasted these years trying personify,
The feeling that knows no sound nor sight,

Take of me my jealousy,
It expends my heart and darkens what should shine,
I talk too much of possessing an ideal,
Of something that is ours, will never be mine.

Celebrate solitude,
Life is enough to make me smile,
Join me to sit on the earth,
and breathe this air for a while.

Don't think that you owe me,
And I can't offer you anything.
Just share your face, your thoughts,
and the happiness your smile brings.

I'll just behold life's gaze and sing....

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Belief is not a luxury,
That men like me can have,
Love is not gift,
That anyone can grab.
Have I earnt what I have given,
Will this love come overdue?
Or do I get what I deserve,
When I know I can't have you?

Are we all just dying,
Lying in wait for death's defile?
Or is there something afterwards,
To make this hurt worthwhile?
I can't know anymore,
What I knew when I was young,
I can't love all anymore,
Can't just embrace everyone... have I burnt out all my sun?

Red eyes, dark thoughts, and an aching in the brain,
Is it normal to return your thoughts and dinner,
To your bathroom's scummy drain?
Guess I'll just wait for the rain, to obscure all the light.
Guess I'll just act without thought,
and land myself in strife,
I wasn't born to fight.

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Bold new thoughts have risen,
New decisions, I've made this day,
The mind, no longer a prison,
And light's not so far away.
I know not of what is coming,
Nor of what the great men say,
But to stand, and to act is something,
To do nothing is to kneel and pray.

I once drowned in indecision,
In the face of the present day,
I once failed in my precision,
to honour my debts and pay,
But I really want to kiss them,
With the things we must say,
And the Gods that do not listen,
We don't need them anyway.

To the loved and to the forgotten,
To those pure and to those rotten,
With the lofty and besotted,
We will speak as one some day...

You don't have to say you're sorry,
For not meeting my request,
You're not obliged to offer me,
Anything you cannot test,
My love it has no price tag,
When it's free it's at it's best,
It's accustomed to go unanswered,
In unrequitedness...

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Don't let your feelings cloud your friendships,
Don't request things that you have not earned,
Don't long for things that do not exist,
These are some lessons I've learnt.

When my back has been turned from the sun,
and your face has been cleared from my mind,
I will realize that we are all one,
And that love is deaf, dumb and blind.

You're only human, just like me,
I will not cry myself to sleep,
You're such a painful sight to see,
But I refuse to weep.... anymore.

I've forgotten what this song was about,
Because I've forgotten for whom it was penned,
I've forgotten about the love that I had for her,
But it feels good to at last see it's end.

So adious, adieu, arrivederci, bless you,
I feel great to have finally put it to rest,
Love is just another four letter word,
Unless it's for all, unless it's put to the test.

You're only human, just like me,
I will not cry myself to sleep,
You're such a painful sight to see,
But I refuse to weep.... anymore.

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I'm a forgotten soldier,
Fighting an unwinnable war,
My enemy unperceivable,
they lie outside my door.

If I open it maybe,
I'll win myself a prize,
but my true decisive longing,
They will never realize.

Your ears are shut,
To words you don't want to hear,
Your eyes remain closed,
For my appearance inspires fear,
Why do I waste my time,
With those who couldn't care?
With she who has no time for me,
To love me, no-one would dare.

So forget me, discard me,
No memorials to mark me,
No lusty horns adorn me,
No halo shines above me.

I'm just an ordinary man,
No man for high ideals,
I have nothing beautiful in common,
Except for how I feel.

So close you ears,
For I've turned my back on you,
So shut your eyes,
Because I have closed mine up too,
They will remain unseeing,
For they grow weary of the view,
Of seeing your angelic face attached,
to the man whose 'right' for you....


...so f*** you...goodbye...
no more "hellos" as I pass by,
I'm sick of putting on a mask,
for the ones who pass me by.
Why should I have a common facade,
When in the shadows I always lie,
Why should I be dishonest and laugh,
On the inside I can't but sigh....

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what will save my life,
ease the pain, calm the strife?
what will sound the call,
that will draw to me, the things I must find,
How shall I erase all trace of your face,
From my ever remembering mind?

If love were real and true,
surely it would speak volumes to you,
But it is silent, ungiving,
it's shadow stains the life I am living,
If it were real, you would feel it,
as vivid as the ground upon which I sit

I tried to forget you with wine,
but I can't be drunk all the time,
Tried to forget you with work,
but my hands were not made for collecting dirt,
Tried to forget with a smile,
tried to release my inner child,
But all I got was an aching head,
writer's block and ash stained tiles.

So what do I seek,
To expel this need, this heartfelt greed?
What can I say,
To excorcize the one who made me feel this way?
No words can release, no disovery can cease,
This worrying trend for worry's increase.

I tried to forget you with sound,
But the words I heard pulled me back to the ground,
Tried to forget you with God,
and Buddha's cold consolating gaze,
But God isn't there, and Buddha is dead,
And the words that they said lead me back to your maze.

I try to forget but your eyes won't let me,
I'm surrounded with friends unable to help me,
I've tried drugs, but being high underwhelms me,
What will save is nothing a dealer can sell me...