Something I wrote some time ago....

Feenix · #1 02-20-2003, 03:17 PM

Is your mind still vibrant?
Can you act through the pain?
Overload of adrenaline...
Can you control the impulses in your brain?
Necessity of such is pointless...
As quick as a stab to the head.

Dazed and confused, no filtering of pain,
Breaking the boundaries of life,
Opposite to pleasure and happiness,
The aspirin is waiting for you,
Behind the locked doors of life,
That in turn awaits for you.

By the messengers in white jackets,
They hide behind the false masks,
And they deprive me to death,
Am I still thinking, or is it the jury in my head,
Convicted deranged, by both of the juries,
Topping in prejudice, inquisitive actions.

Peeling off reality,in my chambre de l'artist.
Locked behind the doors of the optimists.
Highlighting a new beginning,in my humble world.
Obliged to accept future prospects.
Centuries ago,inquisition of the people.
This new beginning,marks the end of my inquisition.

Embarking on a trip to salvation.
Former uncertainty,enlightenment of the people.
Incoming is the tidal wave of hope.
Dead-end for despair,obituary left unsigned.
Sunlight for the people in my mind.
What people?

Five minute raging silence.
Ambushed again by the likes of you.
Power correspondant to the horse tranquilizers.
Obituary is signed,endless sleep.
Locked behind the doors of the pathologists.
Facing the moulded roof of my last resting place.
Morgue sweet home.

Author: Me
What is it about: Visiolize a man after an overdoze of drugs, only to be taken away into a mental asylum.

Cheers!

fairjess · #2 02-20-2003, 03:20 PM

Very powerful. I like it.

Feenix · #3 03-14-2003, 05:02 PM

I just added a 1st 2nd and 3rd verse to it so.. thx Fairjess, I rarely get such positive critisism, I like to have things done my way, not according to standards...

fairjess · #4 03-19-2003, 11:44 AM

The mark of an artist, breaks all the rules to be self-satisfied. More power to ya.

voodoo_misfit · #5 05-24-2003, 11:04 PM

Just browsing through this section, haven't much before....very very very wonderfully written and to be honest, sent chills down my spine<good btw>. Anyway, from another writer to yourself, very good.

Fulghum · #6 05-24-2003, 11:59 PM

Nicely Done Feenix. Good stuff. Way different from my wordsmithing, but that is what makes us all unique.

Nicely done.

Feenix · #7 08-01-2003, 06:09 PM

Thank you very much to all of you. I came back to this poems and lyrics section after a long time, and although many of you may not see this, I'd like to thank you for your positive comments. You gave me a lot of inspiration, and for this I'm grateful.

Cheers again, only to return some day!

LSDeevah · #8 08-25-2003, 03:08 PM

thats funny cause i overdosed at school and woke up in the er tripping face off and then i woke up in a psych ward i was only there for 8 days though.... hehe dont mean to scare anyone.. im not crazy. AHAHA . but yeh i liked the poem sense i can relate.

Tzvia_lovefloyd · #9 04-16-2004, 09:52 PM

that was simply amazing. the only stuff i've ever written was when i was depressed and i had to do it for an english class, i wrote all about pain and death and stuff. it was shit and i hope i never find it. but that was really good. have you written any new stuff?

Feenix · #10 04-17-2004, 06:11 PM

Months have passed since I wrote that poem and seriously I haven't written anything concrete for a long time now. It's fascinating to find so much positive feedback and actually I could post a few poems here every now and then to keep my brain active. Tzvia thank you for your comments, I appreciate it a lot. I have to say though, that I've dwelled in self-pity for way too long and there is finally a new direction in my life, so maybe I'll write poems with a more positive attitude from now on.

Cheers!

Feenix.

Tzvia_lovefloyd · #11 04-22-2004, 07:09 PM

while reading the comments and the poem again, it reminded me how i overdosed on painkillers once, i was ok, but i was addicted to them. its a bit scary seeing as im only 14 and it was a year ago. but when i read the poem again, it was still amazing and like voodoo_misfit said, it sent shivers down my spine. very good.

Emerald · #12 04-22-2004, 09:01 PM

Feenix

As a relativley new member here, I found your post just today. I am impressed with your choice of words, they really illustrate clear pictures and depict emotion with much feeling.

Additionally, I am curious to know if English is your first language?

Feenix · #13 04-23-2004, 05:40 PM

Hence, I am from Finland, but English is like a motherlanguage to me.

floydphreak · #14 05-02-2004, 04:55 AM

Feenix, what you wrote was AMAZING!

Feenix · #15 05-02-2004, 07:11 AM

Cheers mate! I actually had to write a poem on London a few weeks back in school and I thought I could post that one as well here on the APFFN forum. Unlike the poem on this thread (the poem actually isn't just about a man ending up into a mental asylum,theres more to it as most of you already know), the London poem rhymes a lot and is actually fairly good, a nice and simple romanticized overview on London. I'll make a new thread for it.

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Something I wrote some time ago....

Poems and Lyrics