confessions

I was once caught shoplifting this magazine from a FoodLion...thing is..I was with my parents at the time. I didn't get arrested but the dude escorted me to my rents and told them. I was 12 and never went back to that store again. To this day I cannot live it down.

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"Luke, estoy tu pap'a!"
"No! NOOO! Es no verdad!!!!"

I once stole cigarettes from my local convenient store just up on the corner. I still go there all the time.

Oh, yeah, good on ya, PB. Glad you're still with us.

Yeah but did you get caught?

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"Luke, estoy tu pap'a!"
"No! NOOO! Es no verdad!!!!"

I don't believe so. The clerk working there at the time I knew, they were neighbors of ours. I felt weird swimming in their pool from then on, but, hey, it was so long ago that no one cares. I think the ownership of the store changed hands anyway.

It's probably wierd that I don't find this embarrassing but I have a photo of me about three years ago in a friends house, dressed as an Afghani terrorist, with a pair of boxers on my head for a turban, and a pair of tennis balls stuffed down a pair of boxers I'm wearing over my pants, holding a toy Kalashnikov.

It's a damn funny picture.

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I'm Garth Marenghi - author, dream-weaver, visionary. Plus actor. You are about to enter the world of my imagination. This is my Darkplace.

:o

I used to grow "weed" (Marijuana) back home, not that I consider it shameful/embarrasing in anyway

Eric : Did you piss your pants when the accident happened? If not, you are a seasoned veteran then! Glad you walked out of that one with nothing more than a scare and a shake.

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Things I've learned from working in the ER: Leave circumcision to the professionals

Watch my videos

I grew some weed once a few years back. My dad found it behind the shed and flushed it down the toilet.
He never found the ones on my window sill though......

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I can see for myself that the sun is sinking
how I wish you were here to see
tell me now, I am wrong in thinking
that you have forgotten me?

I used to scalp tickets too. All to pay for expenses incured while taking 'significant other' shopping or to the movies etc. as I never recd. pocket money.

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Things I've learned from working in the ER: Leave circumcision to the professionals

Watch my videos

I jack-off outside in the forests every single day. Theres always the risk of someone seeing me, but who gives a ****.

Embarrasing? Nahh, just doing natural stuff in a natural environment...

P.S. I once got caught when this 60-year old woman was walking her dog and she saw details concerning my genitalia.... <---------- now thats embarrasing. Doing this particular action outside in the wilderness of the forests actually feels better than the traditional penial exercise surrounded by 4 walls and a toilet below




Got fooled? I did this a few times and I feel it's more satisfactory outdoors... Some people may find this example as that from a sick prick, but as I said: "doing natural stuff in..." Plus, that 60-year old example never happened, delete that horrible scene from your mind now! More gutwrenching perverted sickness next week, stay tuned!

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I could use one.

Speaking of weed, urine, and genitals, I only tried marijuana once and I pissed in the sink because I was "high" (just a shameful excuse), I also saw my Sophomore Chemistry teacher's camel-toe through her jeans. These two incidents took place on different days, by the way, years apart, in fact.

Well, share it with us, you ninny!

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Carter. Available in original vanilla and now, chocolate swirl! Mmmm...Mmmm...Mmmm!

Multiculturalism is national suicide and political correctness is the cyanide capsule. Wake up, America.

Er..."camel-toe"? Sweet Cheesus, I just know I'm gonna regret asking, but what in the world?

"It's yo thang, baby, do what you wanna do. I can't tell ya, who to sock it to"

Er..."details concerning my genitalia"?

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Count me in on the journey, don't expect me to stay.

I think you may already know what it is, but are just not aware of it. Might be a dialect problem.

That didn't much, Wi'ccsy.

We're not talking about your teachers' hypogastric region are we?

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Count me in on the journey, don't expect me to stay.

Essentially.

Pretty much when material of the pants (in this case, denim, which is God awful) gets caught amongst the naughty bits and results in an imprint of a "toe" with a cleft in it.