confessions

I once rebroadcast a Major League Baseball game with only implied oral consent, not express written consent.

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I do not have to seek you out, I read you day and night
And drink and bathe and share my coat
And droplets spray in rainbows from that distant age
And we will never taste the final drop
Nor turn the final page

!!! You are one sick bastard!

Ive broken 8 out of the ten commandments numerous times, in anyway possible. That sums it all up

I was having an enjoyable time with my ex gf/ first and so far only true love's best friend in my car while she was at the prom with my ex best friend

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Where's Handbanana?

Sounds complicated... but fun..

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I have always been here.
I have always looked out from behind these eyes.

its very complicated... it was a kind of friends with benefits thing we tried out, we'd been friends since like 2nd grade,and she'd always kind of had a crush on me, and i was pretty depressed that night and she wanted to make me feel better and stuff just sort of happened and this is the worst run-on sentence i've ever written.

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Where's Handbanana?

I've stolen cigarette's from my sisters car. I guess that's not too bad but, whatever..

I've helped kill thousands of people by manufacturing cigarettes all my life.

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Not sure what to say

I've stolen about 10 glow in the dark 'Do not take the elevator in case of fire' signs from college.
God help anyone if there's a fire.

I've also stolen numerous other things from campus.

Umm, hmm...

I smoke, and drink. (I'm under 21, for another couple months.)

I've pirated tons of music on the internet. Nothing too major beyond that. I'm pretty well-behaved.

Oh, and I got a tattoo knowing full well my parents would hate it. They're over it now though.

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“Our steak and martinis is draft beer with weenies.” -George Jones

Right, so, this wasn't entirely my fault, but here goes anyway.

Before I left home for college I had this girlfriend. Greatest thing to ever happen to me. To tell the truth, if she'd asked me to throw away my future and follow her to New York, I would've done it in a second. What happened is I went to visit my cousins with my family for a few weeks. One morning, I woke up, and felt kinda funny. Everything seemed normal, until I started thinking, and I realized I couldn't actually remember anything that happened in high school. Like, I remembered going, and I remembered that it happened, but I couldn't remember any of the people, places, or events. It was like when you try to remember a dream from the night before. I talked to my aunt, who's a shrink, and she told me it's actually a perfectly normal, it's called repression, and it's just nerves since I'm going to college and all. My memory would come back soon enough, there was just probably something I didn't want to remember. So I went back home, and I talked to my best friend, who I hadn't gone to school with since the 6th grade. I remembered everything I had done when it was just us two, and I remembered doing things with him and other people, I just couldn't remember the other people involved. I told him my situation, and asked that for the next few weeks I was in town before I left, if we went anywhere in public, he should keep his eyes open for anyone I was supposed to know, and keep me away from them to avoid awkward situations. He made me specify that I meant ANYONE, and I wasn't sure why at the time. My last night in town, we were reminiscing on all the good times we'd had, somehow we got on the topic that I couldn't really remember half of them, and I asked him,
"So, do I have, like, a girlfriend or anything?"
He told me about her and I couldn't remember anything, so I figured it couldn't have been that important. About two weeks into college, as suddenly as it had left me, my memory came back. All of it.

After feeling guilty for a few days, I called her up and talked about it for a good hour and a half. Afterwards, I thought I would feel better, and from the sound of it, she did, but I just felt worse. I've kind of gotten over it, but I can't help but be pissed off that I threw away something so great just because I hated high school so much.

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But I keep on comin' here, standing in this state. Well I'm always reasured the situation's gettin' carried away...

I intend to get a large tatoo on my back before going home for christmas, then wait for the whole extended family to be seated around the table for dinner and walk in with my shirt off. That'll be fun.

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But I keep on comin' here, standing in this state. Well I'm always reasured the situation's gettin' carried away...

<IMG removed to protect myself from having black helicopters over my head and swat teams swarm into my house>
"I don't know I was really drunk at that time...."

Pardon the picture quality. My PDA doesn't take good pictures in low light...

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Things I've learned from working in the ER: Leave circumcision to the professionals

Watch my videos

Well I wrongly told off my friend earlier today...it's complicated, but now I feel guilty.

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JOIN MY CULT

"Aspiring Cult Leader Seeks Many Female Disciples To Assist In Daily Mundane Tasks: Preparing Meals And Baths, Destroying Enemies, Sex, Et Cetera." 941-587-6649

What is it?

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But I keep on comin' here, standing in this state. Well I'm always reasured the situation's gettin' carried away...

He stole the license plate from a cop car....


Me and my friends got busted by the cops for being out past curfew (it was around 2:30 AM). It's a good thing we decided no to take fireworks with us! We later realized we should have run, but we didn't, and now my friend Zac is grounded for a month, and we all feel like asses for getting caught.