The Sea

Here's another interesting story I decided to post. I'll probably do a bunch of these, so enjoy all that I may post.

The Sea

Somewhere out in the middle of a sea, a boat was floating along. A man was on the boat. He had been floating for a long time. He could remember nothing but the boat. If he tried to bring his mind to do anything but ponder his dinner, he felt a sharp pain in his foot. He felt like he had been out here for years. One day, he was having a bath in the sea (even though he was on his own, he still felt the need to stay somewhat clean). He hadn't noticed the large fishy thing that was floating around underneath him. It bit his foot, but it only gave him a very short sharp pain. I climbed back aboard his boat and tried to remember what to do in this type of emergency. Instead of the usual pain, he felt nothing. The bite had frozen the pain. He decided to think back to why he was here. He remembered animals. Animals were very distinct. He now thought about his occupation, and realized he had been a farmer. He tried to figure out what had been going on which caused him to be in such isolation. He thought to slow decension of people's minds around him, how everyone seemed to ...

I will later continue this story. I know that you will all be wondering about this for the next few days in suspense.

God - i almost commited suicide in leu of the wait

AHHHA AAHAHAHAH
Quick - radiochair - your my last hope - finish the -sto-ory!!

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Its Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuu!

Due to popular demand, I will now finish the story.

lower into the ground. The land which we once called earth suddenly turned to mist. The mist came and then life ended. Everything we know ceased to exist. It is unsure how everything played out, but the fact remained that it was gone. Why was he still here? He was unsure but life was over.

You completely screwed up my mindset.

I will now go to sleep for the night because my brain cannot process teh strangeness that radiochair has presented.

Sheesh.

Patrick

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Its Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuu!

Dude, you story started out as good peice of abstract writing. Perhaps it could be worked into something else. A short film or expand more on paper as poetry or a short story, anyway it got a bit weaker at the end you shouldn't have felt pressured to finish it

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stchrissie is not me.

Sorry my bad. :smile:

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Its Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuu!

Jon, are you serious that it started out as a good piece of writing? I know the second part was bad, I just made it up and wrote it in the last five minutes of computer class. I think maybe I'll take your advice and create it into a short story. I may even put it on the site for everyone.

It is a good basis for something else, let me put it that way. You could work on it and bring up some character development and explanation of why the boat was there. If you spent some time on it it could work out to be something better than it is. Not that it is bad, it's just hasn't been expanded enough.

Anyways, that's my thoughts on it.

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stchrissie is not me.

no offense, but the reason why the story had such a weak ending (or so i would speculate) is because you yourself became aware (on a subconscious level, perhaps?) of how pretentious it is. write from you heart and soul...not from some idea of how you should write. even abstract art must come from the heart, it seems to me.

"even abrstract art must come from the heart, it seems to me".

I would think the key to abstract art is through the soul, and all the other is from a set mindset.

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Its Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuu!

hahahahahha. heart and soul. not exactly apples and oranges, are they? *shrug*