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Everyone loves angst!!!!

Poems and Lyrics

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  #1  
Old 12-16-2003, 09:32 PM
KillerLimpet's Avatar
Goodbye Blue Sky...
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 31
Everyone loves angst!!!!

Yeah, rough draft; tell me what you think.

"Still feel your arms around my neck
you're holding me, but choking me too
nothing but the grayness here
grayness in me eyes an mind
I've felt you here but it's all fading away

And so tonight I'll sleep alone
waking up with nothing changed
curled and fetal, wishing today never came

Another day avoiding your eyes
watching my words and checking my step
I'll have to bury everything again
it's buried alive and it's kicking its casket open

And so tonight I'll sleep alone
waking up with nothing changed
curled and fetal, wishing today never came

Walk away but I carry you with me
smell you pressed against my skin
can't just drop my hands
Walk away but I can't leave
arms pull tighter around my neck

And so tonight I'll sleep alone
waking up with nothing changed
curled and fetal, wishing today never came

And so tonight I'll sleep alone
waking up with nothing changed
curled and fetal, wishing tomorrow would never come."
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  #2  
Old 12-16-2003, 09:40 PM
greatgig's Avatar
In Malaise
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: KY
Posts: 265
I've had my share of those kinds of days. Good work. I assume it's lyrics, so I'll go ahead and ask this. Do you have any plans for putting to music and if so, what kind of sound? Just made me curious.

Nice work.

Oh, and if it's a poem, it works very nice in that form, too. Don't get me wrong.
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  #3  
Old 12-17-2003, 10:01 AM
KillerLimpet's Avatar
Goodbye Blue Sky...
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 31
I intended them to be lyrics, but I haven't really thought about what the accompanying music would be like- I dont' really know enough about music yet to really write it. I was imagining something relatively tame, not too off the wall, but I'm not quite sure what the tone of it would be.
But thanks!
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  #4  
Old 12-17-2003, 11:38 AM
Marco Strummmm's Avatar
A Great Day For Freedom...
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Ottawa Canada
Posts: 126
something somewhat Nirvana like I suppose, after all they made a career of it
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  #5  
Old 12-18-2003, 12:20 PM
matthew gill's Avatar
User banned from APFFN
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: wakeyfield
Posts: 311
Put it to whale music with the chimes of a submarine and the distant sounds of monks humming accompanied by a heavy bass riff. - It'll change the music world forever!

Half way through for a brief moment have the sound of crying in an echoing chamber.

lose the first chorus or it'll all seem a little repetitive 'audio wise'
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  #6  
Old 12-18-2003, 04:44 PM
greatgig's Avatar
In Malaise
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: KY
Posts: 265
Quote:
Originally posted by KillerLimpet
I was imagining something relatively tame, not too off the wall,
Yeah, that's what I thought would fit it well, too. Best of luck.
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  #7  
Old 03-20-2004, 10:45 AM
Aneurysm's Avatar
Mudmen
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: In the Know
Posts: 6,786
Now that i think of it, it is alot like Nirvana. If you put music to it, itd be cool to have a soft beat for the verses and have it get real hard at the chorus. Its very good though.
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  #8  
Old 03-21-2004, 01:01 AM
floydphreak's Avatar
I dont think you unworthy
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Far away from you
Posts: 818
I liked it a lot, good job! (btw, like Aneurysm said, it's a lot like Nirvana)
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