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#1
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| My first poem on this site I am hoping to share more of my lyrics to you guys in the future. This one I will write on the fly, as I post this, just to see how it goes. wake up one morning and no one is home, call out, pick up the phone but theirs no tone, get up, get out, theirs so much sun, but walking around you realize your the only one. you pinch yourself. you pinch yourself. yet you never turn around and your still in your bed. Grab your things, grab your stuff, time to leave this place, home is no longer home. what is that? outside? a shadow, something moving. grab a gun, grab a knife, walk slowly, to see what it is. what is it? its not human. its black. Its got claws. no mouth, no eyes, no lips. its looking directly at you, inches fromyour face through a windowsill. you are no longer safe here. Run. Run as fast as you can. before they catch you. Hide. Hide away. before they get you. cause its their world now. haven't you heard the news? they took everything you ever believed in, and stole it away from you. and now that your alone, fearing for your life, running through alleyways and only with the clothes on your back, they spy on you in all the shadows and dark places of the earth, waiting to see if you fall in their grasp. they're coming. they're coming for you. I think I'l call this "The last man on Earth" or something like that. what do you guys think? seriously, I just wrote this as of posting it, no preplanning whatsoever was made on my part. I hope it doesn't suck.....
__________________ "I'm lost at sea, dont bother me" "theirs more in a smile than in a hand" "And the sea, isn't green, and I love the qeen, and what exactly is a dream, and what exactly is a joke?" |
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#2
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| Re: My first poem on this site It doesn't suck.
__________________ fLOyDiAN |
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#3
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| Re: My first poem on this site thanks Floydphreak, that means a lot to me. The next one I will probably have written out before hand, prepared and rewritten a few times.
__________________ "I'm lost at sea, dont bother me" "theirs more in a smile than in a hand" "And the sea, isn't green, and I love the qeen, and what exactly is a dream, and what exactly is a joke?" |
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#4
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| Re: My first poem on this site I didn't think it was that good. No offense to you though. |
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#5
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| Re: My first poem on this site Quote:
none taken whatsoever. I respect everyones opinion. actually personally, I dont like it a whole lot either. Actually a lot of my work I dont like!
__________________ "I'm lost at sea, dont bother me" "theirs more in a smile than in a hand" "And the sea, isn't green, and I love the qeen, and what exactly is a dream, and what exactly is a joke?" |
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#6
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| Re: My first poem on this site It's cool man, I feel that way about a lot of my work. |
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#7
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| Re: My first poem on this site Quote:
everyone in my family always tells me that your hardest critic is yourself, I guess thats true in most cases.
__________________ "I'm lost at sea, dont bother me" "theirs more in a smile than in a hand" "And the sea, isn't green, and I love the qeen, and what exactly is a dream, and what exactly is a joke?" |
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#8
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| Re: My first poem on this site I see the sun, it says hello I say hello, but why? Because it said so I see the moon, it says goodbye I say goodbye, but why? Because it said so Tomorrow is there, but where? Over there, I don't know where. Look around, it's everyhwere. Do you see? It's there, everywhere. It's the end, but why? Because I said so The End ![]()
__________________ Don't hate me because I'm gifted |
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#9
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| Re: My first poem on this site Quote:
very whimsical. like something out of a childrens book.
__________________ "I'm lost at sea, dont bother me" "theirs more in a smile than in a hand" "And the sea, isn't green, and I love the qeen, and what exactly is a dream, and what exactly is a joke?" |
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#10
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| Quote:
Like Barrett´s songs??? That beautiful children book lyrics....... "You have to try this one before the clock stops It´s heaven in your hand ít´s god on a bike"
__________________ "...It´s not grass...It´s pleasure...." Mariano on a Psicodelic Trip. |
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#11
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| I enjoy reading your poem !! Good writing my friend keep on opening your mind.... Adio!!
__________________ "...It´s not grass...It´s pleasure...." Mariano on a Psicodelic Trip. |
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#12
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| Re: My first poem on this site Thanks...I'm just glad I've been able to touch you all with my gift of the word. Although some may call my gift a burden, I believe 'tis a burden that lies beneath the wings, thus why not share it?
__________________ Don't hate me because I'm gifted |
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#13
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| Re: My first poem on this site Because it sucks... |
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#14
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| Re: My first poem on this site Quote:
No hard feelings... Sometimes the intense depth and strong inspiration that comes from my work is a little glossed over, if you will... True poets, or artists as I like to say, are inspirational to themselves, and true to the people around them.....thus we must continue to flutter our wings and stay pure.
__________________ Don't hate me because I'm gifted |
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#15
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| Re: My first poem on this site That's an impressive talking arse you have there.
__________________ I can see for myself that the sun is sinking how I wish you were here to see tell me now, I am wrong in thinking that you have forgotten me? |
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