Waters Humour

1. The three remaining PF members get in a car wreck and all three die. They're standing in front of the pearly gates to heaven when St. Peter comes up and says "Oh hi guys, we've been expecting you! You're really gonna love it here, Heaven is a great place for musicians. We even have our own band and you guys are welcome to join. We've got Elvis Presley singing, Jimie Hendrix is playing guitar, Frank Sinatra is on piano and Roger Waters is writing lyrics!"
Dave replies "Roger's here? When did he die?"
St. Peter leans over and whispers in his ear "It's really just God, but he thinks he's Roger Waters!"

2. Roger, Dave and Nick were all killed at the same time, in freakish accident, and were waiting outside the pearly gates. St. Peter comes gliding up to them and gives the news that anyone wishing to enter the gates must first perform a task to prove their worthiness.

The three have to cross a fast flowing river. They all stroll to the bank and look into the icy torrent, each stepping forward about 5 feet from each other. Nick immediately sinks and drowns as he is washed away, Roger and Dave both walk across the surface of the water and safely reach the other side, and the entrance to heaven. Dave looks guiltily at Roger and says "Do you think we should have told him about the stepping stones?", Roger looks back puzzled and says "What Stepping stones?".

3. Dave, Rick and Roger are sitting on a bridge one afternoon, opening their lunch.
Dave notices he has lettuce in his sandwich and says "I hate lettus, if I see lettus in my sandwich one more time, I'm jumping off this bridge". Rick sees that he has mayo in his sandwich, agrily says "I hate mayo, if I see mayo in my sandwich one more time, I'm jumping off this bridge".
Finally, Roger opens up his sandwich and notices he has lettus and mayo in his sandwich and says "Fucking hell, I hate mayo and lettus, if I see lettus and mayo in my sandwich again, I'm jumping off this bridge".

Next day, they open up thei lunches and all three have the same thing. Dave, without any hesatation, jumps of the bridge. Rick, being dissapointed, jumps off the bridge. Roger, beign pissed off to the limit jumps off the bridge.
All three die. The next day a funeral ceremony is held for the three men. Dave's wife weeps and says "If I knew he didnt like lettus, i'd never put it in his sandwich"
Rick's wife looks down and sadly says "If i knew he hated mayo, i'd never put it in his sandwich"

Roger's wiffe looks for a while, walks away and says "Stupid idiot made his own lunch".

some are old. yet funny.
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For millions of years mankind lived just like the Animals. Then something happened which unleashed the power of our imagination. We learned to talk.

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