I'm angry and I don't know why..

[PinkMoney]

I suppose this could've gone under the 'are you happy?' but it's not the fact I'm unhappy, I'm angry.

I dunno whats wrong with me, school is almost out I'm gonna go to college..the weather is looking up, my girlfriend is the best thing to happen to me..I think.

I think it all goes back to her, the past weeks she's been queen of mixed signals, I do so much shit for this girl and I don't get anything in return. Sure she cares about me, and all that, but I never get the satisfaction of knowing what I do is appreciated and that everything is gonna be ok. She's going to collge too, and we wont be together. All I've heard now is "I wanna get drunk" comming from a straightedge girl, who I quit smoking and drinking for is kinda sketchy. Yesterday we were talking bout our friends relationships, and she said it was dumb for someone to tell another person that they cant see other people, just because person A doesn't want them to..whats up with that? I also playfully poked her and said all I was looking for was some love and attention, she replied with: I think your gonna have to look elsewhere for that. WTF people?

I'm tired of my friends, tired of most everything- "tired of screwing up, tired of bein down, tired of myself, and tired of this town" puts it nicely. I wanna leave and go on to college, but the thing is we and this girl based our schools on relative closeness to eachother. Her parents are paying her way, I gotta work for mine. It just seems worthless to make this girl happy if she's just gonna find someone else to make her happy, friends-dating-serious relationship, whatever, I'm not down. I've cheated on every girlfriend I've ever had in my life but this one, and if I wanted I could everyday without her knowing. I just dunno anymore. I never really got it when people said they were on the edge...well I'm there, and all I need is a gentle breeze to knock me off. Last night I dreamt I was in a dark tunnel falling, and I almost got to the end when all I could hear was screaming, and I could feel my stomach start to burn, I woke up and thought about it. I thought I might actually have been falling off my edge, and if I kept going...might've woken up in a better place. Think you could really do that? Literally drive yourself over the edge?

I just dont understand it, this girl makes my day...my life, she honestly makes me happy with who I am and where I'm going, but I'm not happy. I've thrown it to the fact I'm bipolar and this is a really low point right now, but it's never been like this. I dunno who to talk to, I can't talk to my parents- my father is deaf, and my mother is going through ANOTHER bad divorce. My friends all tell me to dump her so I'll stay here with them, but I don't wanna stay, I'd leave and go somewhere without her. I can't talk to anybody at school cause you know how highschool is, and talking to a teacher or cousullor is outta the question because 3/5 of her local relatives work at the school. And if I talked to her, we'd fight, like always, things would be said that we didnt mean, and yea... I dunno.

I've thought about it, it's not the sex I care about, or the compainionship, or the way we fit together perfectly, I honestly love this girl. I care about her well being, health, her emotional states, I take care of her when she's sick, get here whatever she wants, always look out for her interests, and make sure I stay outta trouble cause I'm on strike 2.9, all I need to do is jay walk and I'm fucked.

Sometimes I just get the feeling that she doesnt need and want me as much as I do her. I want to be happy, but I want her to be happy even more...I just dunno what to do anymore

[darksideofoz]

This is kinda irrelevant, but you remind me of someone I know (they will probably realise I am talking about them) that I know, but he wasn't dating the girl... he really cared about her and thought things wouldn't get better, but I really think that they are. I know it isn't the same situation, so I'm not going to waste my/your/anyone else's time with that discussion.

I know that you really care about the girl, so you really need to talk to her soon. You need to find out if she still cares about you. You shouldn't waste your efforts on her if she isn't trying to make the relationship work. You probably don't want to hear this, but I think that if she isn't even willing to talk about it then you should dump her, because there is no point in being in a relationship where it is just making you unhappy.

Well whatever happens, I hope things will sort themselves out soon. I think I speak for most of us (well, I hope) that if you want to talk about it we're here for you.

[Simon]

Wow! Quite a load off that chest en PinkMoney?

How about if you just printed out or typed out your post and handed it to her? Ya gotta let her know whats going on man...

Pssst: If ya need help, check out the homepage listed in my profile

[Fulghum]

Ah heck P.M.

Just get her drunk.... Do the wild thing...... then date her sister..

Oh wait.. though I was Fixxy there for a moment..

Do what Darkside said.. start talking or start walkin..

[stratman]

"I think you're gonna have to look elsewhere for that"

Sorry Pink, but it sounds to me like she's gonna be "moving on down the line". That's a pretty revealing statement.

You'd best prep yourself for a breakup.

Take heart, though it may not look like it right now, there will be other girls come along who you can love just as much....and will want to reciprocate.

[iplaycheapstrat]

I went through this 6 years ago. Go your own way and don't pressure her. She obviously is as confused as most 18 yr old who are about to go to college. You have two options, screw up by being angry due to the fact that you aren't getting attention or allow her to go her way and clear her mind and maybe get back together later. It sucks either way. Let her go man, Let her go...For now

[Sydney]

hun, I know you care about her, and her happiness, and you want to make her happy. But the most important person in your life is you, so make sure you're happy before you start worrying about whether she is or not. Quite frankly.. I don't think she's worth the effort. You'll be amazed how much college will change your life, and for the better. That's just my two cents

cheers

[CerpinTaxt]

Look, girls don't know what the hell they want. And like Lej said, you should look out for your own well being and realize you're getting fucked over.


I just realized the word "****" isn't censored anymore.

[GeraldTheMouse]

Guys don't know what the hell they want any more than girls do.

[Deranged]

I know what I like(in her wardrobe)

[PinkMoney]

Simon, your hospital-like: whats the cure for the disease called "A Break"

[Fictitious]

PinkMoney, have you ever seen The Notebook? Kinda sounds like a familiar situation to me. I know it's a movie, but it's a damn good one too.

Anyway, I'm not going to sit here and tell you what to do, because I really don't know the answer to that. All I can say is that there are other people out there, even if you think you can't go on without this girl. Being single isn't so bad, everyone needs to learn how to deal with it (I'm learning now )

But, if you really love her, and think you can make it work, then by all means keep trying. Just know that no one is worth putting yourself through the shit you've dealt with lately. That says something right there.

I'm here if you need to talk, just PM

[darksideofoz]

Originally Posted by Fictitious

PinkMoney, have you ever seen The Notebook?

You're obsessed, haha.

[Sydney]

It's not that great a film anyway, and I hardly think it's going to help his situation. The chick in that film quite clearly knows what she wants, they'd never have broken up if her family hadn't moved.
Anyway.. I digress, hope you feel better soon PinkMoney, sometimes it's good to get these things of yer chest. Just make sure you're ok..

cheers

[darksideofoz]

Yeah, kidding aside, just make sure you're going to be okay. Just PM if you want to talk.

Cheers