Lyrics in the works

This is from a concept I've been writing. I try to write conceptual lyrics. This is called "A New Dogma (part I)"

How sweet it is to be sleeping with the Navy,
somewhere out in folding trenches.
with a polar conclusion to guide where you fall,
when quietly generals make their stand.
And while you were sleeping, the trinity came,
said the bombs had hid somewhere out west,
they were a peculiar guest, a quiet threesome,
from an eastern theology's candle.
And a slither in their speaking sounds like,
rustic contraptions, that take fire on a bellicose night.

Oh, how sweet it would be,
A jagged sunshine below and a lost memory,
Oh, how sweet it is, a sleepless night.

Overtly tense, how sweet can the flavor taste,
from the mast of some enigmatic band.
Over the hills, we may find someone new, to burn the place to the ground.
Maybe they go by the dance back out west,
abreast body-by-body, for some ellitist hand,
that burns somewhere above them, for the creators of man.

what ur upto Greatgig
Planning to become Waters
I was Just joking

Oh, how sweet it would be,
A jagged sunshine below and a lost memory,
Oh, how sweet it is, a sleepless night.

I like This para a lot
neways whole poem was good

Thanks, man.

sounds good man, keep working on it, it could develop into something really good