the children's eyes

cleanse my body and free my mind,
and open it up for the loss of time,
fighting urges that keep me in the clouds way up in the sky,
floating down I wished I'd never question any of the reasons why,
existing on another plane,
of life that keeps me growing sane,
you whisper in my ear the sweetest caress of ungodly things,
sing of the days that past and wishing that we both had wings,
but in our hearts we know the sadness,
is equalled only by our madness,
and everything you thought was true is only the start of lies,
and floating up to the sky we never thought to question why?
accepting this new state of mind,
and breaking all the ties that bind,
our minds to this world and to a god flying high above the sky,
and ask him how he planned to make us see ourselves through his eyes,
but we never tried to see his tears,
as we created all of his fears,
can't we see what we have done to his dreams and to our lives,
can't we stop and think of it when we rob our children's eyes,
and blind them with false realities,
creating their hopeless insecurities,
I try to fight for what is right and everything we should have done,
and not get lost inside their eyes so all i can think to do is run...

so, yay or nay to this?

I've got mixed feelings on this one. I liked the idea and message. As a whole, it is good. But I found the rhyming slightly cumbersome at times...disrupted the flow occassionally. It's ok though...we can't always write a "Time" or "Dogs" when we want to.

Keep on writing!

i liked it, i thought it was good!