Just doing some thinking out loud

No one has to reply to this. Like the title says, I'm just thinking out loud.

I just got done reading Byron's thread in the Essays and Short Stories board and it got me thinking. I really miss thoes days. I used to come on this site every day for one reason, to have fun. Now that I think about it, it was usually the high point of my day to screw around and talk Floyd with you guys(well, some of you anyways).

I had to leave the site for a while, and when I came back, I was mostly annoyed at what I used to find amusing. Stuff that I did back then, I bitch about now. I seriously need to take quite a few steps back and realize what the hell I'm doing and what I've become.

Of course, the whole FW situation between her, Mark, and myself led to a lot of the personality changes for me, here anyways. I became very bitter because of that. The fact that she would run to Paulo and complain about Marko pissed me off. The fact that I stepped down as mod(when she was made mod) yet still had the ability to read the posts in the moderator forum pissed Paulo off.
I've been quite the asshole ever since then, I guess.

I think I need to get over the shit that FW(Wright stalker #1) did and realizethat she no longer posts here anymore. **** I need to lighten the hell up, big time. I have tried before, but that was all half-assed. I never put forth the effort.

I'm not sure what I'm really trying to say. Like I said, just thinking out loud.

Isn't life funny.

I am always looking back on myself and thinking that I was really an ass a couple years ago, or I was extremely stupid in my earlier years. But I think that's all just a part of growing older & growing wiser. It happens. We change our minds and we change the way we think -- frequently.

As for the APFFN power struggle, I have no comment.

You know, OG has made his share of unnecessary, hurtful and/or immature comments. As have we all. But who cares?

There's a lot of love here at APFFN; I genuinely mean that in the truest sense. This is a very special place: a forum for open and honest discussion of the band we all admire, as well as whatever the hell else we feel like talking about.

And this is what never ceases to amaze me: it's all done in the most friendly, understanding context I've ever encountered online. Not only that, but the APFFN is consistently inhabited by a few of the most unique and colourful characters it's ever been my pleasure to converse with.

Count yourself among those few, OG. You've been through the ringer with everyone else. We've all done our share of growing in the last few years. I'm completely embarassed by some of the stuff I said when I was just a n00b with nothing but semi-coherent babblings to contribute.

It seemed like this place was just what I was looking for: full of insightful, balanced viewpoints on every topic I cared about and where my own voice would be heard. And since then it's gotten better; I can only see it continuing to improve.

So stick around and keep posting. You know you want to.

People, LETS SHAG!

LOL.. I don't know if I wanna shag OG.. but I do totally understand what he's saying.. I can see why you'd get shitty and twisted. Who knows.. if there was shitty stuff going on in your personal life..that may have influenced things as well..

Anyway.. my point being.. You were always the bomb OG.. even if you were a bitter and twisted rude bomb.. nice to have you back as the old dude we all knew was still around.

cheers

I totally hear you kev. I've been through and caused my fair share of drama here at the site. For those of you who haven't figured it out from my blatant hints (pictures, all my bands, my old screen names) I"M JOEY!!!!!!! Aka rabid monkey, paranoid android, punkSk8er, AC/DC, and Blistered Earth. I was banned, and that's fine if you want to re-ban me fine. But I seriously love everyone at this site, even you Lej, I love ya, for real. This site has always been an important part of my life, and through my personal struggles over the summer, my dramatic phase seeped into my APFFN life, and I pissed off a lot of people. I think this is a great way to just, throw away all the old drama shit and just have fun. Thanks for making this Kev, I've only been here long enough to see you be a dick to most people, but I still liked you. Hell I like ALL of you, EVERY ONE!!!!!!!!

I'm glad you've hung around, Kev. Yourself, Boab, Fixx, NNJ & Syd are the columns upon which this whole APFFN thing was built.
The FW thing was sad, but I have to admit I got some laughs out of it all.

I echo Botley's thoughts... You're all a helluva lot of fun, people!

awh shucks everyone.. you're all gonna make me cry in a sec.. group hug?

cheers

Look at my last post
No hugs here

Some of us have made a career out of it!

APFFN is doing good for now.... of course, nothing like the heyday, but we can't change stuff back, quite. Stuff changes with time and that's just the way it goes.

I do like that so many people who make APFFN special to me are still here. Even if some of them aren't here 24/7, they still poke their head in from time to time just to say hello, which is great.

Myself, I still visit this forum everyday. It's a habit for me and I doubt it will stop soon.

But that heyday... I still cherish it. Those who know what I'm talking about probably miss it too.

Hey look, I meant to say like a sentence but I've gotten a few paragraphs. Ah well, it's how I really feel.

-SMG

Come on, you know you do.

I'm going to weigh in here with a bit of truth, Kev. I think that your tempers are cyclic, turn up about every 8-12 months and cloud your judgement in general. We have spoken about this on MSN before and the consequences of these dark and angry avenues that you go down every now and then (remember how shit things got a while back in 'real life'?). I'm pretty sure that you'll go off on one again and next time, a funny sort of vaguely grovelling, apologetic thread just ain't going to do it. Whatever it is that sets you off, whatever it is that gets too much for you, I suggest that you deal with. I'm speaking as your friend.