A JOKE--And it's just a joke, RELAX!

fiesty are we?

always.

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last orders please.

Irish optimism?

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to invade next when his telephone rang.

"Hello! Mr. Hussein," a heavily-accented voice said. "This is Paddy down in the Harp pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you."
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "this is indeed important news! how big is your army?"
"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorra!", said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?", Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's old farm tractor."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 4,000 armoured personnel carriers. I've increased my army to 1.5 million since we last spoke."
"Saints preserve us!", said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock pub have joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 1,000 bombers and 2,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites, and since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Wait a minute !", said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin' Mr.Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm intrigued," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a few pints, and there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

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This is a picture of my best friend showing off.

He's a lot older than me and almost done with puberty,

which is bragable

Baby Floyd--that's hilarious!!!! I am forwarding it to a friend of mine...

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"And with these words I can see
Clear through the clouds that covered me
Just give it time then speak my name
Now we can hear ourselves again..."

WrightSatellite #1

i liked that one

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Silver horses ran down moonbeams in your dark eyes

i hate forwards. if i get one i get rid of it right away. i don't care who its from.

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last orders please.

It's back....and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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Negative infinity man.

Speak for yourself, I'm the most optimistic person I know. Cheer up though man, it's not all that bad

no problem.

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last orders please.

Funny stuff.

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stchrissie is not me.

bottom of your heart, or the heart of your bottom?

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Silver horses ran down moonbeams in your dark eyes

Yeah...you know what? I don't get it.

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Negative infinity man.

Speak for yourself, I'm the most optimistic person I know. Cheer up though man, it's not all that bad

There was an idiot kid in a class. In maths class, the teacher asks him:
"two plus two equals...?"
The kid answers:
"five"
The Teacher:
"no. let's make this easier. two plus one equals...?"
Kid: "four"
Teacher: "no! even easier : one plus one equals...?"
Kid: "three"
Teacher : "no! look, I have one apple in one hand and one apple in the other hand. how many apples do I have?"
Kid: "those are apples?"


Idiotic humour.

You said it

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If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

Why is six afraid of seven?