A JOKE--And it's just a joke, RELAX!

A happy, little fly was buzzing around a barn one day,
when she happened upon a large pile of fresh horse
manure. Since it had been hours since her last meal and
she was feeling hunger pangs, she flew down to the
irresistible delicacy and began to munch out.

She ate... and ate...and then.. She ate some more!!!
Finally, she decided she'd had plenty. She washed her
face with her tiny front legs, belched a few times, and
then attempted to fly away. But alas...she had pigged
out far too much and could not get off the ground.

She looked around wondering what to do about this
unpleasant situation when she spotted a pitchfork
leaning upright against the barn wall. She'd found a
solution!! She realized if she could just become
airborne she'd be able to fly again.

So, she painstakingly, climbed to the top of the
handle. Once there, she took a deep breath, spread her
tiny fly wings, and leaped confidently into the air.

She dropped like a rock and splattered all over the
floor!

Dead Fly....

The moral of this sad story?

Never fly off the handle when you know you're full of crap!

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Negative infinity man.

Speak for yourself, I'm the most optimistic person I know. Cheer up though man, it's not all that bad

Two mice fell in a bucket of cream.

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is snuggly

Pearl. I wonder if anyone has heard this one before...

There was a little bird who hated flying south for winter. So one winter, being pompous and arrogant, id said "screw it! I ain't going no where!" But soon it became too cold and food was scarce. Realising it's stupidity, the bird began flying south.

However, it was too cold and ice formed on it's wings. The bird spiraled down into earth and landed in a pile of horse dung. The bird thought this was the end. It was tired, hungry and lying in a pile of dung. It felt that it's life had come to an end...

The dung was fresh and warm however and this melted the ice on the bird's wings. Thus, freed; the bird began chirping about happily.

Hearing the chirping, a cat (who hadn't had a decent meal in weeks) happened by and started to clear away the dung. The bird thought that it was about to be freed and let out a joyous melody. The cat promptly ate the bird...

Moral of the story :

- All those who get you into shit are not your enemies
- All those who get you out of shit are not your friends
- And if you are warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut.

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Work in the ER is a mix of can do, can't do and "sure, what the hell..."

Watch my videos

__________________
Negative infinity man.

Speak for yourself, I'm the most optimistic person I know. Cheer up though man, it's not all that bad

It's a true story.

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is snuggly

Lips are clean: Hexachlorophene.

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When Bucks Fizz’s tour bus crashed they all survived. When Metallica's bus crashed Cliff Burton died. Why?

Cell phones anyone?

Attached Images

coolmailz_cell6.gif (27.4 KB, 15 views)

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Work in the ER is a mix of can do, can't do and "sure, what the hell..."

Watch my videos

Same theme continues...

"These addicts should be buried with their cellphones stuck to their ears, yeah...
lest they haunt you even from the other world."

Attached Images

coolmailz_cell7.gif (23.5 KB, 14 views)

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Work in the ER is a mix of can do, can't do and "sure, what the hell..."

Watch my videos

THE YEAR'S BEST [ACTUAL] HEADLINES OF 2002:


Crack Found on Governor's Daughter

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

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Taking away from you for the greater good. (The Audacity of Socialism).

"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery".-- Winston Churchill

"Islam isn't in America to be equal to any other faith, but to become dominant" - Omar Ahmad (founder, C.A.I.R.)

__________________

Work in the ER is a mix of can do, can't do and "sure, what the hell..."

Watch my videos

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Moving On.....

good laugh

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Moving On.....

__________________
When Bucks Fizz’s tour bus crashed they all survived. When Metallica's bus crashed Cliff Burton died. Why?

You've done it again, stratman.