A JOKE--And it's just a joke, RELAX!

That would be very strange indeed. Always on your right side?

__________________

Work in the ER is a mix of can do, can't do and "sure, what the hell..."

Watch my videos

Habit?

__________________
"I need a bohemian atmosphere"

For a thread that was started by ATH, this sure is popular. On the other hand, almost all of his threads have been popular...

What are Newtons 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th Laws?

1. The length of the pole is directly proportional to the depth of the hole
2. Up and down motion of the pole produces a white, sticky lotion
3. When the pole in agitated in the hole (after sufficient delay) a soul is produced which is either a pole or a hole
4. The pole is negatively geo-trophic...

__________________

Work in the ER is a mix of can do, can't do and "sure, what the hell..."

Watch my videos

Two elderly ladies were outside their nursing home,
having a smoke, when it started to rain.

One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the
end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

The other lady asked, "What's that?"

"A condom," the lady responded. "This way my
cigarette doesn't get wet."

"Where did you get it?" the other lady asked.

"You can get them at any drugstore."

The next day, the other lady hobbled herself down
to the local drugstore and announced to the pharmacist that she
wants a box of condoms.

The guy looked at her kind of strangely (she is,
after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she
prefers.

"It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel."

__________________
When Bucks Fizz’s tour bus crashed they all survived. When Metallica's bus crashed Cliff Burton died. Why?

One fine Sunday afternoon, a man attending mass found his way to the confessional booth. Before the man could confess his sins, the priest, in terrible need of a bathroom break, pulls the janitor into the booth on the priest's side of the screen. The priest orders the janitor to give the perishioner a penance after his confession whilst he goes and relieves himself. As the priest exits, the man confesses to the janitor that his girlfriend had given him oral sex, and since they were not married, this was considered a grave sin. Not knowing what to do, the janitor peeks out of the confessional and stops a passing alter boy, "Say, kid, what does the priest give you for a blow job?" The boy responds after a quick thought, "Oh, some bubble gum and a pack of baseball cards."

A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been
kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house
and breaks into it looking for money and guns, but he
finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of
bed, ties him up on a chair.

While tying the girl up to the bed he gets on top of
her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes
to the bathroom. While he is in there, the husband
tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped
prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent
lots of time in prison, and hasn't seen a woman in
years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex,
don't resist, don' t complain, just do what he tells
you, give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous,
if he gets angry, he will kill us. Be strong, honey.
I love you. "

To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my
neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was
gay and found you very sexy and asked if we kept any
Vaseline in the bathroom.

"Be strong, honey. I love you too..."

__________________

Work in the ER is a mix of can do, can't do and "sure, what the hell..."

Watch my videos

what's the difference between acne and a catholic priest?

acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13

__________________
When Bucks Fizz’s tour bus crashed they all survived. When Metallica's bus crashed Cliff Burton died. Why?

Ok, my apologies in advance if this joke in anyway breaks the rules. Remember though it is just a joke. It was sent to me by a friend. I thought it was very good.
Ok here it is.......

At a crisis UN security council meeting this morning, Colin Powell requested a final chance to convince the world of claims that war with Saddam was the only option.
A hushed silence fell over the room...

Kofi Annan: "Mr Powell, what proof do you have that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?"

Colin Powell: "We kept the receipts."

__________________
I can see for myself that the sun is sinking
how I wish you were here to see
tell me now, I am wrong in thinking
that you have forgotten me?

Thank goodness you apologised first, 'cause that was a stinker.

__________________
Count me in on the journey, don't expect me to stay.

boom boom

__________________
When Bucks Fizz’s tour bus crashed they all survived. When Metallica's bus crashed Cliff Burton died. Why?

bang bang

__________________
"I need a bohemian atmosphere"

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

(cymbal crash)

What did little Miss Muffet and Sadam Hussein have in common?

They both had curds in their whey.

__________________
Only the very safe,
Can talk about wrong and right.
Of those that are forced to choose,
There's some who will choose to fight.

Ha, ha, oops I shouldn't have laughed.

__________________
The quick brown dog jumped over the lazy fox