A JOKE--And it's just a joke, RELAX!

Three friends of the deceased are solemnly paying their last respects at graveside after the casket has been lowered into the grave.
Friend #1 pulls a $100 bill out of his billfold and drops it into the open grave. After a moment, friend #2 does likewise.
Friend #3, a lawyer, jumps into the grave, scoops up the two 100 dollar bills, and leaves a check for $300.

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Taking away from you for the greater good. (The Audacity of Socialism).

"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery".-- Winston Churchill

"Islam isn't in America to be equal to any other faith, but to become dominant" - Omar Ahmad (founder, C.A.I.R.)

Nice one! My bint's a lawyer and I can't wait to tell her that one.

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Count me in on the journey, don't expect me to stay.

Whassa bint?

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stchrissie is not me.

It means 'woman,' oddly enough.

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When Bucks Fizz’s tour bus crashed they all survived. When Metallica's bus crashed Cliff Burton died. Why?

Three Women Knitting
Three pregnant women are sitting chatting and knitting jumpers for their expected kids.

The first one says "I hope that I have a baby boy, because I'm knitting a blue jumper."

The second says " Well I hope that I have a girl because I'm knitting a pink jumper."

The third woman says "I hope my kid is a spastic, because I've ****ed up the arms."

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When Bucks Fizz’s tour bus crashed they all survived. When Metallica's bus crashed Cliff Burton died. Why?

That's a good one Mark. I have a set-up joke, it won't be funny on the board. It takes two people, who are in on it. One person tells the joke and the other laughs (even though it's not even funny) the the others may laugh just because they don't GET it, or they don't want to look dumb and laugh anyway, that's the funny part, watching to see if the joke tellers can get the others( not in on it), to laugh at a joke that's NOT funny. So here's the joke: There's a big polar bear on a little ice berg, there's a little polar bear on a big ice berg. the little polar bear yells over to the big polar bear "RADIO". That's the end of the joke, and the designated laugher, then starts laughing a lot, and then watch the reactions. It's funny when tried in a large group of friends that know one another, like half the group in on it, and the other half get had.

"It's your triangle"

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When Bucks Fizz’s tour bus crashed they all survived. When Metallica's bus crashed Cliff Burton died. Why?

What's the difference between Mick Jaggers and a Scotsman?

Mick says.. Hey, You, get off of my cloud.

A Scotsman says... Hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe....

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I have always been here.
I have always looked out from behind these eyes.

I thought the joke was pretty damn funny guys, leave it alone

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Fighting Squirrels, we got nuts!

Got this from albinoblacksheep.

A Newfoundlander enters his favorite ritzy restaurant in Toronto and while sitting at his regular table, he noticed a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby....all alone.


He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her - knowing that if she accepts it, she is his.


The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl, saying this is from the gentleman. She looks at the wine and decides to send a note over to the man. The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants."


After reading the note, the Newfoundlander sends one of his own back to her and it read: "Just so you know - BMW 850iL, and a Mercedes 560SEL are in my garage; plus I have over 10 million dollars in the bank. But -- not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off two inches. Just send the bottle back."

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That's all.
APFFN
Now you can see all the shit I listen to.
And you can fawn over my Myspace.

A Washington lobbyist was driving home on the beltway and was suddenly stopped by a massive traffic jam.

A policeman was walking back through the stopped cars so he rolled down the window and asked the officer "What's the hold up?"

The officer replied.. "It's the President. Mr. Bush is very depressed about the situation in Iraq and Afghanistan. He's very upset about his portrayal in Michael Moores movie and just isn't very happy. He has stopped his motorcade in the middle of the road and gotten out. He's sitting in the middle of the highway threatining to douse himslef with gasoline and set himself on fire.. he's very depressed. I'm walking back through the traffic taking up a collection for him.

The Lobbyist asked: "How much have you gotten so far?"

The Officer replied.. "Only 4 gallons but folks are still siphoning".

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I have always been here.
I have always looked out from behind these eyes.

Two Irishmen walked out of a Bar................


IT COULD HAPPEN!!!!

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I have always been here.
I have always looked out from behind these eyes.

Two Blonds walked into a Bar...

It really hurt.

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I have always been here.
I have always looked out from behind these eyes.

. . .You'd think the second one would notice.

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That's all.
APFFN
Now you can see all the shit I listen to.
And you can fawn over my Myspace.