A JOKE--And it's just a joke, RELAX!

sorry for the confusion. guess i should've just spelled Emerson Lake and Palmer out instead of being lazy. and 100 is an important number. well maybe not. but it is to me.

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last orders please.

An old man and an old woman were getting ready for bed one night. As soon as the old man get's under the covers, the old woman jumps in front of him, throws off her robe and says, "Super Pussy!".
The old man looked at her and said,
"I'll have the soup.".


If you don't like it, screw you I didn't write it.

If you did like it, thanks. It took me hours to think up.


Twenty Beers,

Kevin

_________________
"All Right, Now PISS OFF!!!"

Okay, that one WAS funny.

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Count me in on the journey, don't expect me to stay.

Here's one that's not as crude and filthy, but oh well. Originally a blonde joke, but the color of your hair proves nothing, so now it's just a joke about a slow-witted woman.
This lady's house catches fire and she calls the fire department. "Help! Come over quick! My house is on fire!" she says.
"Okay, what's your address?" The guy on the other end asks.
"...I don't know." she says.
"Well how do you expect us to get to the fire without knowing the address?!"
The lady sighs, "Duh! THE BIG RED TRUCK!"

my head hurts.

__________________
"Exterminate all rational thought...that is the conclusion I have come to."
- William S. Burroughs
'NAKED LUNCH'

The pull it out of your ass.

All right here's another one.

There's a man and a woman at a bar and both are very depressed. The man notices the woman is depressed and asks,"Why are you so depressed?", She looks at him and says,"My husband left me because he thinks i'm too kinky. How about you?". He looks at her and says,"My wife left me because she thinks i'm too kinky.". They order more drinks and after a bunch of small talk she immediatley jumps in his lap and starts making out with him. Then she says,"Let's go back to my place.", he agrees and they do. When they get there she says,"I'm going to slip into something more comfortable." and goes into her bedroom. While in there she changes into a leather get up, a gimp mask, 12 inch leather heels, with whips and what not. When she comes out of the bedroom she notices the man with his hat and coat on leaving the house. She says, "Where are you going?", to which he replies,"I just fucked your dog and shit in your purse, i'm done.".

Taa-daa.

_________________
"All Right, Now PISS OFF!!!"

[img]/forums/images/smiles/icon_lol.gif[/img]

Excellent!

That was pretty good.

Proud of you hunneybunny.

Cheers,

Mark

__________________
And you my love, won't you take my hand
We'll go back in time,
To that mystic land
Where the dew drops cry, and the cats meow
I will take you there
I will show you how....

HA! quite good, in spite of your earlier rude comment to me. god knows i never do that to anyone.

__________________
"Exterminate all rational thought...that is the conclusion I have come to."
- William S. Burroughs
'NAKED LUNCH'

Uh...huh. Sure.

Thank you,

Sweetheart.

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. "I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don't have any." "But I always get it here," says the blonde. "Do you have the container it comes in?" "YES!", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it." She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist. He looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant." Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container.... "TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM"


I thank you.

Mark

__________________
And you my love, won't you take my hand
We'll go back in time,
To that mystic land
Where the dew drops cry, and the cats meow
I will take you there
I will show you how....

Good one sunshine.