A JOKE--And it's just a joke, RELAX!

It's a beautiful day and Sophie is hanging her washing on the line to dry when her neighbour, Ethel leans over the fence and asks Sophie how she manages always to hang out her washing on good, sunny days.

Sophie: Well, it's my boyfriend Ernie. When I wake up in the morning, and if Ernie's "old man" is lying to the left, I know it's gonna rain, so I don't hang out my washing.
And if it's lying to the right, I know it's gonna be sunny, so I know I can hang out my washing.

Ethel: And what if it's sticking straight up?

Sophie: Who the hell wants to do laundry on a day like that?

Ta da!

All credit to Ms Bette Midler.

to be honest, A Talking Head's joke really pissed me off. I read that so carefully trying not to miss a word and find out what was in the box, and all I get is "I can't tell you, you're not a monk" shit?!?

f**k you!

Take it easy, Lucifer Sam.

ATH gets that reaction a lot and not just on this topic, but what're ya gonna do?

Big ears,
Byron

Q/How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

A/Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.



Da da da da da da da: Angus!

Pick-up lines:

You: Do you use windex on your clothes?

Chick: No, why?

You: Because I can see myself in your pants.


You: Are you tired?
chick: no, why?
You: Because you've been running through my mind all day.

You: Did it hurt?
chick: Did what hurt?
You: When you fell from heaven.

These are riots!!!

Feel free to use them. WARNING: You might get called a loser.

_________________
I deficate, therefore I am!

Or the classic:

Q: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
A: My eggs?
Q: Yeah. Scrambled or fertilized?

LOSER!!!

Or you can always ask a girl if she wants to go out for a pizza and a f*** and when she says, "That's disgusting!" you reply with, "What? You don't like pizza?"

What, no more bad jokes? Come on people.

Q: What do you do if you've dropped your keys in San Francisco?

A: Kick them to San Jose and pick them up!

Q: What do a drum solo and an Orgasm have in common?

A: You can see them both coming but theres nothing you can do about it!

cheers

Look, if I'm repeating mysef, then it's not an intentional gaffe, but I couldn't be arsed going back through all the previous jokes to check:

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

Because anyone that can run, jump or swim is already in the US



What's Dick Van Dyke's real name?

Penis Van Lesbian

By proxy,

Mark

Actually, quite funny.

Warning!!! The following is very naughty.





A young man is taking a tour of his new job, when his employer points out a barrel with a hole in it, and says "That is the BJ barrel, anytime during the day you want a bj just stick your d*ck in there and you'll get one."

Monday thru Thursday, the new employee went to the barrel on every break and sometimes would sneak one when he shouldn't have. On Friday, he was about to assume his normal duties when his supervisor asked him what he was doing.

"Just my job," he replied.

"Oh no," said the supervisor. "Today is your day in the barrel."

i find that very offensive being a mexican and all.

And notice that where it says location, you put California. Point proven.