A JOKE--And it's just a joke, RELAX!

Anyone who did do ATH deserves to be shot.

And would probably prefer that, actually.

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is snuggly

Question: If a homosexual man 'comes out of the closet', where does a lesbian woman do the same?


Answer: The liquor cabinet

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When Bucks Fizz’s tour bus crashed they all survived. When Metallica's bus crashed Cliff Burton died. Why?

The other day I was painting and using gasoline to clean the brushes when my cat got into the gasoline and drank some. She ran around in circles for a few minutes making these vroom vroom noises, then she just fell on her side.

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stchrissie is not me.

Spray perfume or aftershave on the thing's bottom and it will spend countless hours trying to escape from it's own anus.

Hours of fun for the whole family

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When Bucks Fizz’s tour bus crashed they all survived. When Metallica's bus crashed Cliff Burton died. Why?

Fixxlexy...Thank You...that was hilarious

Warning: The following joke is disgusting...a normal reaction will be laughter combined with "that's nasty!" Anyone who finds this type offensive should not read it...

Nevermind...This might get me into trouble.

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Negative infinity man.

Speak for yourself, I'm the most optimistic person I know. Cheer up though man, it's not all that bad

Okay, Okay...talked me into it....

It is a hot, sticky,muggy, humid day. People in the neighborhood are taking drastic measures too cool off because of the pending heat wave...Two teenage girls are walking down the street, dripping sweat.

"God girl, I cannot take this heat. There must be something we can do..."says one girl.

"Tell me about it. I don't know how much more I can take. Bout to just strip down..." the other replies.

Her eyes widen..."you know...that's not a bad idea...wonder if it would be any cooler if we took off are panties."

"Take our panties off???????Girl, your crazy!!!!"

At this point in time, there happens to be a rather plump lady sitting her porch nearby. She is eating a gigantic watermelon.

"Look, she isn't wearing any panties...I bet that's why, she's probably cooler. I am going to go ask her" The girl takes off towards the house with the other reluctantly following.

"Pardon me ma'am...are you any cooler without your panties on?"

The plump lady looks up from her watermelon.......
"I don't know about cooler, but it sure does keep dem flies off my watermelon!!!"

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Negative infinity man.

Speak for yourself, I'm the most optimistic person I know. Cheer up though man, it's not all that bad

Don't worry, she's ok. Just ran out of gas.

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stchrissie is not me.

lol NNJ!

Chariz - that joke should come with the following disclaimer

*personslikingwatermellonshouldnotreadthefollowing exerptforfearofviolentillnesswhennextcomnsumingwat ermellon*

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Silver horses ran down moonbeams in your dark eyes

No doubt englar....I have known of this joke for so long...every time I have ever told it...it completely grosses people out, but they still laugh their 's off...I guess it's the punchline that gets them...do you like watermelon?

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Negative infinity man.

Speak for yourself, I'm the most optimistic person I know. Cheer up though man, it's not all that bad

Not anymore.

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is snuggly

What do you call a lesbian with long fingers?

Well hung

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When Bucks Fizz’s tour bus crashed they all survived. When Metallica's bus crashed Cliff Burton died. Why?

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened. He found her lounging in the bedroom, still curled in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?" She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?" "Yes," was his incredulous reply. She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

hehehe... one for the girls!
not so much funny as truthful

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Silver horses ran down moonbeams in your dark eyes

Thanks englar....I know a few people who need to read that one!

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Negative infinity man.

Speak for yourself, I'm the most optimistic person I know. Cheer up though man, it's not all that bad