falling off a star

Falling Off A Star

we're falling off a star
the door is now ajar
imbued with many words
they're flying 'round like birds
we're diving down through space
as if life is a race
your heavy marbles drop
scar bottom to the top
all utterances slip
as light as feathers rip
more empty minds fly by
no door 'tween you and i

good stuff

i like it

thanks man

do you got anymore

i'll look for some more theyre on my computer but right now i cant find the folder theyre in

leaves of orange, brown, and red
a yellow haze of autumn
summer has come and gone again
fall is here at last
leaves flutter to the ground
soon shall come the winter
the trees naked
the leaves dead

Should have quit while you were ahead

yeah the first one was lot better

The first one was alright, but as always, the rhyming seems really really forced...but still decent.

its really hard to ryhme a poem

yea i dont really like the second one myself actually

The ryming does sound forced, you should try not ryming and give the poem a sort of secret if you know what I mean. You should put more feeling into it. Don 't mean to rag on you and stuff, just trying to help a fellow poet!

yea i get what you're saying, thanks cindy

show de bola

your welcome, glad I could help!!