Dishonestly Bizzare

This is uh...a really weird free verse type poemish thingy i wrote. It doesn't completely even make sense to me. And, I'm not sure I like it, so don't hesitate to say that you don't either. Anyways, here goes:

The page turns
A door opens
See the decay
On the bed they lay
Crooked frames on the wall
Life moves fast
Try not to stall
The old man died
Before he stood tall
It’s time for you to make your fall
Your work is done
Gone away with all your fun
Smile at the girl
Honey run, run, run
James has gone
He’s off to get his gun
Flames evaporate
All so young
Jump with me
Fly into our sun
Music moves the heart
Avoid talking to Mrs. Bogart
Ramble on my beautiful fawn
A doe, a deer, together
Help disappear the beer
Is it me that you fear?
Oh my, don’t go away
Come over here
By us we are near
Towards you I leer
Crash into a forward car
Corpses rot and then walk
Somebody smoked
Toked to delight
Then got into a glorious fight
For the revolution brother!
Tomorrow you better
Call your mother
Given a ride
A scenic drive
An evening stroll
Off with your head
It rolls and rolls
Laugh and scoff
Oh well, it was fun in the end

I'd say, that to make it better, to make it feel more like a "real" poem, or a song lyric if that's what it's meant to be, you could find the lines you like the most in there, and the lines that get your message across the best, and elaborate on that.

(Wow, 6 commas! )