Dr Cheese's Retirement

Cheers Cheese, the site was, indeed, moderate under your guidance.

Bird flu hits APFFN!

Two ModeRatOr Something down in two weeks.

Please, keep the survivors sheltered!

Welcome back between the moderated ones, Cheese!

Glad to see you around here again, DT.

Good work cheese. I hope you still be around here for a long time.

Miserable old bastard.

He still sore about this whole thing? Skin like a grape, I swear it.

I went out and bought four Echo & the Bunnymen CD's.

I sold all my Beatles LP's on Ebay. ALL of them.

I bought an orange parka that leaves only my eyes exposed, and walked up a tall, cold mountain.

I ate four pounds of cheese, with deleterious aftereffects.

I even put on my ruby slippers, closed my eyes, and clicked my heels together three times.

Nothing's working.

...

It is, I think, absofreakinlutely critical that our hero's position as top poster not be lost to the upstart pretender Fixxlevy. I've been posting senseless oneliners as fast as I can, but I'll never catch up; I'm just too far behind, and I lack the resolve (and attention span) to continue.

No, the only answer is an elite kidnap team to be dispatched to Liverpool immediately. While I'll be unable to join, due to a bad back, volunteers are eagerly sought. Intrepid commandos may apply following this post, and donations for expenses may be sent to me personally.

Does it HAVE to be Liverpool? Can't we just wait until he goes a-hiking or a-mountain climbing, then nab him where he stands...preferrably via helicopter?

And don't try to kid us with that bad back malarky. You just don't want to go to Liverpool yourself.

Come back, Cheesus, mostly all is forgiven.

p.s. Confidentially, I honestly believe our unholy Cheesus is having a well deserved break, an APFFN sabbatical if you will, from this zany, other worldly place peopled by equally other-worldly ...um...people.

Miserable old bastard.

From fixxy's Last.fm inbox:

Cheese: "Your musical compatibility rating with fixxlevy is:
Very Low"

Which just goes to show how Very Bad your taste in music is.

fixxy: Whatever, you monumental milk squirting mammary. What's your mobile number? I'll send you a picture of my cock

Cheese: You're keeping chickens now? How very quaint.

fixxy: Yawn. I'm lying on the floor in my living room watching the Blue Planet and replying to your peurility via my phone. I take it the TV license detector van is in your area and that's why you're online (and being a twat). If you can be arsed texting insults, that's great. Otherwise, bang it up your miniscular jap's eye and shit off back to whence you came. My mobile is *********** and I won't be replying via this medium again today. Git.

Cheese: Can I be arsed texting insults? Not to the likes of you, twatty bollocks, so shove it up your vag!

fixxy: Well, you're wrong, 'cause I'm champagne, and you're shit. Until the day you die, you, not me, will always be shit.

Cheese: Champagne? More like Lambrini.

^


maybe if u say it five more times it will have some more meaning to it

Or maybe he'll jump through the bathroom mirror, covered in bees.

...or he might have been banged up for six months?