Internet Romance

Hey, it wasn't crap what I posted there, it was fucking Van Halen!!!

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"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

Solo work

Band

That's nice, but mine was celine f-ing dion.

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All hail Axe.

That's what I've always thought.

But this may be the place to ask the experts how cybersex works. I think I've been missing out.

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Taking away from you for the greater good. (The Audacity of Socialism).

"The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings.
The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery." -Winston Churchill

"Islam isn't in America to be equal to any other faith, but to become dominant" - Omar Ahmad (founder, C.A.I.R.)

You can do it at home, it only takes one participant. The other is actually unnecessary and would probably ruin it for you, anyway. If most people knew who was really on the other side, they'd be disgusted.

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stchrissie is not me.

here's one for all you lonely ladies out there who might be considering finding lurvvve on the Internet. This guy might be a good catch?

http://scot.8k.com/lookingforawoman.htm

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aj7f3B1VCYM

Sure this has been posted previously, but:


Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk blouse, a black leather mini-skirt and high heeled boots. I am tanned and very buffed. I workout every day. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3'' and about 250lbs. I wear glasses and have on a pair of blue sweatpants I just bought from Walmart. I am also wearing an old t=shirt, it's got some barbecue sauce stains on it and smells kind of funny.

Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK.

Sweetheart; We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my nightstand. I look up into your eyes and am smiling. My hand works it way down to your crotch and I begin to feel your huge swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart; I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung; I'm taking hold of your blouse and I'm sliding it softly off.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm body. I'm rubbing your bulge faster now. Rubbing and pulling.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and tears a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it! I'm wearing a lacy black bra, my soft breasts are rising and falling as I breathe harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp of your bra, I think it's stuck. Do you have scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly, I reach behind my back and undo the clasp. My bra slides off. The cool air carresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung:How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart; I'm arching my back. Oh baby, I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: now I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered in spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: WHAT?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry, really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm of my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking your sopping wet blouse and throwing it in to the corner of the room.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweatpants down and rubbing your hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman! Your hands are cold! Yeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my mini skirt. Take off my panties.

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over you, in and out and nibbling on you. ummm, wait a second.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've gat a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help?

Wellhung: I'm running into the kitchen. Choking wildly. Looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink!

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm aching for you lover.

Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. I'm putting it back in the cabinet. Now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait it's dark. I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tugging off your pants. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies pressed against each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take your glasses off?

Wellhung: Ok. But I can't see very well. I'm placing my glasses on the nightstand.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it too me baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way to the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet and lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle. Uh-ho!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Wellhung: I just realized I peed in your laundry hamper.. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bed now. Blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: Now I'm going to put my, you know, thing in your umm, woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. Ma'am, I'm having a little problem here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth. I can't wait another second. Slide it in! Screw me!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: WHAT?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener all floppy. I'm looking for my glasses to see what the problem is.

Sweetheart: NO! Never mind. I'm getting dressed, I'm putting on my underwear and my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung; No, wait. I can't find the night table. I'm reaching across the dresser, knocking off cans of hairspray, your picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: Now I've found my glasses. My God! One of your candles fell on to the curtain! The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it with a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell! I'm logging off. LOSER!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Noooooo!

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When Bucks Fizz’s tour bus crashed they all survived. When Metallica's bus crashed Cliff Burton died. Why?

Funny.

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stchrissie is not me.

Better than funny.

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When Bucks Fizz’s tour bus crashed they all survived. When Metallica's bus crashed Cliff Burton died. Why?

So, Laurence Anthony, how did it go with Internet Girl? Is she the same lady that you posted a pic of recently or Old News?

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When Bucks Fizz’s tour bus crashed they all survived. When Metallica's bus crashed Cliff Burton died. Why?

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Not Now John might not be me, but he wishes he was.

"I don't understand the whole dating thing. I know right off the bat if I'm interested in someone, and I don't want them to waste their money on me and take me out to eat if I know I'm not interested in that person. "

Britneys thoughts on romance!!!!!

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Not Now John might not be me, but he wishes he was.

" When I mentioned marriage he shot off,.... like one of Mother Theresa's sandals"

Britney on one of her romantic experiences 2005

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aj7f3B1VCYM

The British internet girl was in a period where I did way too much wizz and was pretty much full of shit all the time. So yes, it was a load of bollocks. The Belgian girl and I broke up short after I posted the pic. So I'm a free man at this point. I'm trying to get her back though, she's a wonderful lady. The Belgian one that is.

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It's a crime that the swift should be held back by the slow, and it's criminal that nothing is going to rectify it.

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When Bucks Fizz’s tour bus crashed they all survived. When Metallica's bus crashed Cliff Burton died. Why?