I saw it in the papers!

[Axe victim]

I saw this in the papers:

Biblical Jesus Puppet
Jesus is a beautiful full body, rod arm puppet. This big mouth puppet is 30 inches tall, and has removable legs, mouth starps, 1.5 inch neck movement, same fabric throughout, and comes with one puppet rod. This religious puppet is an excellent choice for puppet ministry. Use him to teach scripture and for bible lessons. Fully functional for both children and adults, and can be used as a full body, or remove the legs to make a lightweight rod-style half body puppet. This Jesus puppet was designed to depict Christ in a loving, kind, approachable way. He has natural sun tanned flesh tone and big brown eyes and is dressed in the garb of the biblical days, with sandals and a satin deep red shawl that represents the blood shed on the cross. All of this big mouth puppet's clothes are completely removable , including his shoes.You can enter this lovely puppet from the back in a ventriliquist puppet style, or from the bottom like a standard half body puppet. A plastic attachment is available to make the puppet to appear to walk on water. This fully functional muppet-style performance puppet of Our Saviour has been made affordable for puppet ministries on a tight budget. Your price $36.95. Also available: Bibiical Angel hand-puppet; Bibical Shepherd Boy; Biblical Man; Bibilical Old Man; Bibilical Girl; Bibilical Roman Solider and Bibilical Camel (Puppet Revelation catalgue May 2005).

any other adverts, caught anyone's interest?

[Deranged]

Is this for real or what?

[Axe victim]

Very real...I kid you not!

[Deranged]

I'm interested, you got a link or something?

[Axe victim]

Nah, I copied it from this months 'Private Eye' ( a satirical magazine) but the original came from something called the Puppet Revelation Catalogue. Type that into Google and see what you get?

[Aneurysm]

Heh, that's crazy.

http://www.puppetrevelation.com/brow...cts/Index.html

[Axe victim]

you could really impress your freinds and family with that puppet!

[Deranged]

Jesus is a beautiful Full body, Half body, rod arm puppet. This big Mouth puppet is 30" tall and has removable legs, mouth straps, 1.5 inch neck movement, same fabric through out and comes with one puppet rod. This religious puppet is an excellent choice for puppet ministry and children's church. Use him to teach scripture and for many bible lessons. This biblical puppet is fully functional for both children and adults and can be used as a full body or remove the legs to make a light weight rod style half body puppet. These puppets are similar to Muppet style puppets.

This Jesus puppet was made with great care and love and was designed to depict Christ in a loving, kind approachable . We wanted a Jesus that children would want to know love and cherish. He is in a garb of the biblical days with sandals and a satin deep red shawl that represents the blood shed on the cross and royalty as the King of Kings. All of this big mouth puppets clothes are completely removable including his shoes. He has accentuated fingers, feet with toes (to wear sandals) and sewn elbow and knee joints. You can enter this lovely puppet from either the back in a ventriloquist puppet style or from the bottom like a standard half body puppet. He is a natural tanned skinned flesh tone and has big brown eyes and dark brown yarn hair and a short cropped beard. This fully functional performance puppet is not only totally functional but he has been made affordable for puppet ministries with tight budget. Basically this is a full body puppet, half body puppet, big mouth puppet, rod arm puppet, ventriloquist puppet ......This puppet covers it all!

It's brilliant.

[Axe victim]

On the day of L8, probably the biggest concert the world will ever see, and the day when poverty was supposed to end, the headline in the Aberdeen Evening Express (local newspaper) read ' Naked couple romp in Asda car park'.

[Axe victim]

Croak!

“Officials from our hygiene department were doing their routine job of checking the abattoir fridges,” a City Hall spokesman told reporters in Lima, “when one of them noticed a frog jumping out. Further investigation led him to several large crates, which he ordered staff to open. Inside were thousands of Titicaca frogs, about 4,000 live ones and another 1,000 that had already died. Obviously they were a wholesale delivery, on their way to frog juicing shops, to be liquidised and turned into Peruvian Viagra.” The spokesman was describing attempts by the Peruvian government to combat the illicit trade in Telmatobius coleus, and endangered species known locally as the Titicaca frog. “There’s a growing problem in cities like Lima and Arequipa, because men are convinced that these frogs are aphrodisiacs, that they’re better than Viagra and without the risk of a heart attack. There are several frog juicers operating in the city, in shops where customers can choose their own frog from a tank. It’s then dropped live into a household blender, along with water, honey and a local tuber, and whizzed into a frog cocktail that is drunk immediately for maximum potency. Although the frogs are an endangered species, we only have the power to protect then when they are in transit, not in the shops, and there is an increasing market for them. A recent television report estimated that 150 live frogs are needed each day to satisfy Lima’s demand for frog juice, and that figure fits with our own estimates.” The frogs were taken to a colonial fountain in the city centre to splash around, before being returned to their native lakes by the ecological police. (The Age (Australia), 29/4/05)

[Dr Cheese]

Originally Posted by Axe victim

frog juicer

Gak!!

[Axe victim]

You'd better cancel that order for Peruvian viagra!

[Axe victim]

It's money for old rope!

“Why is our government trying to create problems out of nothing?” former oil minister Ali Ahmad Al-Baghli asked his readers in Kuwait. “The Interior Ministry, which is responsible for implementing death sentences by hanging, recently started importing ropes for this purpose from Egypt, after England stopped manufacturing them. The rope is specially made for hanging, and not only the executioners, but also the men who tie the rope around the neck of the condemned man, are carefully trained for the job.
“Three months ago, when the last public hanging was held in Kuwait, the neck of the criminal who was hanged was badly cut by the rope. That is why the Interior Ministry sent a delegation to buy new ropes in Egypt. They personally examined the rope before signing a contract worth KD 16,000. The problem is that, after it was brought to Kuwait, they found that this expensive rope wasn’t good enough for ‘human use.’
“This raises a very pertinent question. How can these expensive imported ropes not be good enough for hanging, when every day we see weak Asian labourers hanging themselves from tree branches with ordinary Kuwaiti ropes used to dry clothes? I suggest the Interior Ministry assigns the task of hanging criminals to Asian labourers living in Jleeb Al-Shuyoukh. It appears that they have more experience in such matters, and what is more, their ropes can be bought cheaply from any cooperative society.” (Kuwait Times, 28/4/05.)

[DeathTöngue]

Originally Posted by Axe victim

It's money for old rope!

That is just so wrong, on so many levels, I'm on overload. I may remain so for the rest of the day.

I would, however, just for my trivia collection, love to know what company it was that specialized in the export of hangman's ropes. What an odd product.

[DeathTöngue]

...and it's obvious we need warning labels for clothesline packages: "Caution: May cut weak Asian neck if used to end it all.".